YOU HAD ONE JOB CLINT
when i see a cute couple my first thought is always if they’ve had sex yet
GOLLY FUCKING GOSH WHAT A NICE DAY FOR SURFING!
i hate when people say “you’ve barely touched your food” like what do you want me to do stroke it
what if tattoos just randomly appeared on our skin at key points in our lives and we had to figure out what they meant for ourselves
So I can either bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.
nick nO THAT’S NOT HOW YOU BAKE COOKIES FRIEND
HOW ABOUT 4,000,000 DEGREES FOR 1 SECOND
NICK YOU ARE GOING TO BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN
I’M GOING TO HARNESS THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES
NICK P L E A S E
We were talking about Shakespeare in English class and the tradition of throwing tomatoes when the actors are bad. Well it turns out, back then people thought tomatoes were poisonous, and so people would aim at the actors mouth and try to kILL THEM WHEN THEY WERE BAD AT ACTING OMG
THERE’S NOT EVEN ANY WIND INDOORS, HIS COAT JUST DOES THAT OUT OF RESPECT